Wednesday, June 8, 2011

This week I have been mostly writing: Spods Log

I'm sure you may be aware of the crushingly inane chatter most people continuously bombard the world  wide web with through the medium of Facebook and Twitter. Maybe you're as apoplectic with rage as I am everytime you stumble accross an ill judged comment made by some poor sap with the delusion that the population at large has any interest in what he or she has to say.
Maybe you're thinking 'Dear god, if only someone would provide some enlightening and groundbreaking chat as an antidote to the general malaise'. Well fear not good citizens, the antidote has arrived.
Yes, I have allowed myself to open the floodgates of my expansive and quite brilliant mind. And here is the result:

Spods Log, is a weekly diary of my thoughts and actions. The thoughts and actions of a brilliant man on the cusp of greatness. Strap yourselves in ladies and gentleman. Enjoy the ride.

Monday 8th June:

Today I contemplated if eating too many carrots will actually make your skin turn orange. More importantly, if this can be achieved, can anything be gained from resembling an Umpa Lumpa.
On reflection, probably not.

Tuesday 9th June:

I may have discovered what has been causing my bouts of mid-afternoon flatulance. Today I had toast for breakfast instead of cereal. Could it be too much milk in the cereal causing the problem? I didn't have to sneak out of the office today to clandestinely break wind so I think I might be on to something. Another triumph!

Wednesday 10th June:

I fell asleep on the train journey home from Sydney today. I awoke just outside Woy Woy with my mouth agape and my head lolling. Everyone in the train carrige was staring at me. Was I dribbling? No, the shirt front was dry. Perhaps I'd been talking in my sleep, what did I say? I could've asked't.

More Spods Log to follow next week.

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