As we hurtle unfettered into the bosom of the yuletide season you may notice a fair amount of Christmas themed films and TV shows airing on the good old idiot box in the coming weeks. It was my misfortune to actually witness a particularly tasteless example of one of the these films on the weekend, and I must say, I was shocked and stunned by the bloodthirsty violence on show.
Now, you're probably thinking that I'm talking complete balderdash, Christians are a pious and peace loving lot (lets ignore the crusades for a minute), would they stand by and watch the festival of Christmas desecrated by association with sadistic violence?
Well, apparently so, as this film was made back in the 90's and is still being aired. And what is the offending article in question? Well, its Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, starring former child megastar Macaulay Culkin.
If you haven't seen it, the premise of the sequel is pretty much the same as the first film, Kevin (Macaulay) is left by his family again when they go on holiday (how someone has failed to inform the authorities regarding this shocking negligence is simply beyond comprehension) and to occupy the lonely hours until he's found he decides to torture and torment two petty criminals (one of which is Jo Pesci, why did you do it Jo?) to death in ever more dastardly and cruel ways under the pretext that he's trying to stop them stealing money from a philanthropist toy store owner in New York.
The slapstick cartoon violence is gratuitous and slightly disturbing, I found myself wincing as bricks were hurled repeatedly into the forehead of the unfortunate criminals from the top of a tall building by that grinning angel of death Kevin, I was stunned as Kev rigged up a blowtorch and filled a nearby toilet bowl with petrol just so he could watch Jo Pesci's head be set alight, and planning to douse the flames, stick his flaming melon in what appears to be toilet water but is in fact a highly explosive flammable substance.
Now if this happened in Itchy and Scratchy or an old Tom and Jerry cartoon, it would undoubtedly be hilarious, I watched many violent cartoons growing up and I've managed to suppress my homicidal urges easily enough, but when a live action movie portrays the kind of violence where the protagonists bounce back from crushing blows and explosions with Wolverine style resilience then its a bit worrying.
I certainly wouldn't let my daughter watch this when she gets older, I'd want her to realise that violent acts have a consequence and not find myself turning the corner of our street on my way back from work to see her launch an ingeniously constructed home made mortar bomb at me as a practical joke.
Anyway, the movie winds its way to the inevitable conclusion of Kev being saved from being shot in the face by Joe Pesci by a pre fame Susan Boyle and the horde of pigeons she has under her command (I'm sure everyone saw that coming a mile off). The bad guys end up safe and sound back in prison out of reach of the evil clutches of Kev and Kev grows up to be the mastermind of several new torture techniques for the American army.
There's not much left to say on Home Alone 2, by far the most gratuitous and disturbing film I've seen in a while that masquerades as a feel good piece of Christmas children's entertainment, lets hope we never see its like again.
If the devil has a face, its the eerily cute blond, blue eyed, Kevin, he would have made Adolf Hitler proud.
Lets just take a look at a brief clip ...... what a minute....is that?.....I think it is you know........its Susan Boyle
Write a book Chris - your observations, wit and writing are brilliant.
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